My Crush On Paul McCartney

For this pre-Christmas Day, I will write about my first real crush, Paul McCartney. He was someone I obsessed about in my 14th year. (Yeah, birthday.) He certainly wasn't the first boy I actually dreamed about. But he was the "one" I cared about the most. Every day during Science class, or any other classes in school, I would doodle his name on a piece of loose-leaf paper, writing his last name after my first name. Writing his name over, and over, and over again... I thought that someday, I would marry him. And if I wasn't, I would marry someone just like him.

I would have thoughts during lunch, when I would sit alone by myself on the floor of my high school building that he *has* to marry me. Even if he was married to (someone I do *not* want to mention!), I would try to be their maid or nanny, THEN Paul would notice me.

Imagine, me writing his name 200x in one day, and then coming home from school, and putting on my 'A Hard Day's Night' CD and playing it on my blue 3-in-1 radio/CD/tape player and trying to reminisce a life with him thru the songs. My 2 song favorites were 'And I Love Her' and 'Things We Said Today'. 'Things We Said Today' was a more of the song I could imagine myself with.

Here's how I'd picture it:

Me and him on a meadow, he is wearing his black pants, white shirt, black tie, regularl Beatle haircut.
I would be wearing a 60s dress, my hair in a feminine Beatle haircut. (Oh, I just love the bangs!)

He and I would exchange stories, love quotes, and all those romantic stuff. A soulmate. A lover. A friend..

Also, when I read one of the books I had on him, it said that at 15-years old, he banged the babysitter.

I was enraged by this! I wrote it on a piece of paper, the only place where I can contain my thoughts & feelings, and wrote that. I left it on my bed, only for my mom to discover it and eventually through away. (I didn't actually witness this, but this is what I would have imagined if she did find it and did read it.)

I was so furious, thinking, wow, I am only 14, and he did it at 15!

Another thing, I read that he wrote his first song? at 14, with Little Girl Come Home (something like that.)

I wanted to write my own song at 14, too.

This eventually led me to buying my first guitar. It was an acoustic guitar. I wasn't much of fan of the bass, and I didn't like electric. I thought and still believe that acoustic is "staying true". As such the hippie & environmentalist I am.

I didn't write any song, though, but if I did gather up all the notes and little thoughts I had from them, it would make one awesome love / refrain song. I wouldn't have the music that went with it, though. I'm not that much musically inclined as I want to be, although if I did try not to think about it too much, I would have created a 5-chord song, and it would be alright.

I thought, Paul is the most perfect Beatle, man, boy, guy, person to ever live. His eyes so beautiful, his voice so angelic, his eyes so pretty. They look like doves flying with their wings out... (Indirected pun.)

I also drew a sketch of him when I paused my A Hard Day's Night DVD and found a still that I liked, which was a scene during 'And I Love Her'. It was beautiful. I wanted him to be perfect. It took me 2 hours.

That work is gone. So is my DVD and my CD, but I still have the memory of it.

One day, I went to the library, just to look for more Beatle material I could find. There was this rock book, so I immediately went to the glossary to look for Paul McCartney or The Beatles. I found one picture, which I thought was so cute, that the next day? I got my scissors to cut him out of there and put him in my room.

It was my first mini-stolen picture of Paul McCartney, and I was happy about it...